If you are feeling threatened or pressured by financial instability, you are not alone. However, you may feel alone, angry, or unable to control a situation that may be endangering your emotional and economic investment in your career. Anxiety, depression, and hostile feelings can result when a reasonable solution doesn't seem readily available.
There may be a tendency to become withdrawn or immobilized or to deny there is a problem until it becomes even more unmanageable. Riding the storm out successfully, no matter what the outcome, will call for recognizing these feelings and evaluating whether or not we are making the best use of our resources.
Resources include anything that can help us meet a threat or a demand we are experiencing. Time, education, information sources, health, money, friends, and our own creativity are some examples. What's important to consider is that we aren't always aware of all our resources. Stress has a way of letting our emotions cloud our thinking so that sometimes we fail to see all the ways we can combine these resources - or the best way we can combine them to diminish the threat we are feeling. For example, we might focus on increasing our credit expenditures as the only possible solution when, in the long run, it might be the worst possible solution. When what we've been doing doesn't seem to be working, or we find our emotional reaction to the situation becoming even more painful, it's a good idea to attack the problem from a different angle. That may mean identifying some new information resources and/or an additional source of emotional support.
Finding a trusted friend to talk with and to help in assessing the potential strengths and weaknesses of your current situation may be quite valuable. Also the local library and Clemson University Extension have a variety of printed materials and linkages to legal, financial, and community support services. Clergy, social workers, and counselors are ones who can also make a concerted effort to understand what tight economic times mean. They can be highly objective listeners and may be skillful in helping generate alternatives that might provide new directions or solutions.
The bottom line, of course, is that individuals and families must make the final tough decisions. When we are making decisions with as much information and help as possible, we feel that we have given it "our best shot." Hopefully, the outcome will be positive, or at least, acceptable. Second guessing and negative thinking should end there. These do nothing more than make us feel miserable and keep us from using our energy to move in more positive directions. The "true grit" that has characterized many American families will be tested by a tough economic situation.
Family flaws and family strengths both come to the surface in troubled times. During an economic pinch, everyone in the family, including the children, may be threatened in one way or another. Because of the uncertainty of the outcome and the strain caused by tighter finances, many stresses surface in individuals and families. One person may feel the loss more than another depending on their circumstances.
Others may not be able to provide the level of support needed because they are stressed. Stress saps energy and tends to make us want to withdraw from the problem or become more aggressive. Family members may find one another on edge, communicating less positively, or even abusive. If bickering, criticism, and blaming increase, families can make their situations even worse. Negative behaviors such as verbal or physical abuse, and/or problems with substance abuse may signal a need for immediate professional help.
Otherwise, the best plan is cohesion -- to ride the situation out together, for better or worse. This will call for trying to be more sensitive to one another's feelings, paying attention to unspoken pain as well as verbalized distress. Try not to let the crisis dominate family life completely. Purposely schedule activities that are enjoyable and fun to look forward to. Such activities need not cost money -- a walk together to explore the nature might be a great afternoon. Maintaining linkages with friends, family, and the community is very important in stressful times.
Children can learn a valuable lesson by watching now parents handle pressure and stress. They can learn that painful feelings can't be avoided, but can be handled as a process -- that wise decision-making involves information gathering, the generation of as many alternatives as possible, and the selection of the best option. They can learn that the outcome of that choice needs to be evaluated later on, not in an "I told you so" fashion, but as part of an ongoing process of meeting the challenges of everyday living and coping with transitions in our lives.